What a Wednesday!
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This is me at most 3.30am's - except of course without the feathers and the sharp beak.
I feel a bit like that now, but I told G-d that I would try to do better in some things at the start of 5784 - one of them being that I would do an accounting of my day followed by the Sh'ma before bedtime. So I've decided to use my blog to do the journaling part.
Our hearts are all so sore about the terror attack on Israel and the continued hostage situation, not to mention all the death and dying of young people. It's been difficult to keep my spirits uplifted. Last night we got together online and listened to worship music for an hour and a half. It was so wonderful, taking us out of the harsh reality and into the Presence of our King.
Which brings me to this morning's sleepy-eye syndrome. I woke up at 5am feeling rather ill, so I canceled my early morning study session and went back to sleep, hoping it would all be better when I awoke. It was better, but still not grand. In any event, I could sleep no longer so I got up and made a start to my day. I looked at the list of things I had set for myself to do and thought: "Ugh, I don't have the energy to do any of those" and went to wash the dishes.
I didn't water any of my plants, nor did I plant any beans, herbs, or any of the other medicinal herbs I bought recently. My poor plants - they will need my loving attention first thing in the morning,.
Ok, so that is what I didn't do - what DID I do? Good question. Let's see...
I did read the 4th Aliyah of Lekh Lekha - it took me 2 and a half hours, reading as I did Rashi and following up on all the sources he mentioned in the Talmud, Genesis Rabbah, and Targum Yonatan. It was a thoroughly enjoyable and enlivening experience.
I pottered around the kitchen, and went for a walk in the lovely sunshine, which was just so comforting as it touched my skin. I greeted the dogs on the way to the shop and said hello to all the familiar staff members there too. My daily excursion into the human pool. Living alone is wonderful and all, but believe me when I say we do definitely need other people. G-d made it that way.
Later, feeling a bit drained I fell asleep listening to a teaching from one of the sages. When I surfaced, it was time for my Matthew class with our beloved Rabbi Steven Bernstein. He has his own congregation but makes time for us every Wednesday. We are so appreciative. You can find him here:
and his congregation here:
Something else I did today was watch the latest update from our Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Itzchak Shapira, on his new book. You can find him here:
He has just released a book called Hamas, the Great Organised Chaos and the Coming of the Mashiach. Here is the link to that:
Ok, so after I had done that, I was exhausted! Sjoe!
I had another small nap and then took my Hebrew class, after which time I phoned my beloved grandson to pray the bedtime prayer with him, then we met to pray for Israel on all fronts. Then a friend and I did a small 30-minute study - we chatted more than studied, but it was good.
Should I write out the list of things I didn't do that I was supposed to, I might feel like my day was a bit wasted - and yes, I did not accomplish all that I had set out to do - but I did spend time in the Word of God and I did spend time praying and I did spend time building up a few of my friends, so my day wasn't a complete write-off. Fortunately for me, we have learned that everything we say, every word that comes out of our mouths, every commitment we make, is a vow. And G-d takes those very seriously. He absolutely does require us to fulfill our words 100%.
So, because we are all human and just dust, we err every day. When I wrote my list of things I would do my best to accomplish daily in honour of the G-d I serve, I both said and wrote at the bottom of my list "B'li Neder". Not that I ever use that as an excuse. But today I just had no energy. Thank You for Your grace L-ORD.
Layla tov 
❤️
ReplyDeleteThanks for your lovingkindness:)
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